I want to share this email that my cousin, Liz sent to me and my family, along with her direct family and friends as well. Although it is quite long, it was the very last paragraph that truly hit home for me. I think that it could also affect others who are in similar shoes as mine, whether it be a young momma, momma to be, or even a futuristic momma ;) or especially those who have family or friends who suffer from addiction.....
She wrote this email with sincere thankfulness for all those who prayed and thought of him during his tough time. She wanted to share the happy ending, and the hope involved as he gets better!
For a quick introduction, Liz is speaking of her nephew, Jack, 21 who has been suffering from severe drug and alcohol abuse since the young age of 12! While he hid it from his family for quite sometime, he headed into a downward spiral of crazy addiction the last few years.
So bare with me throughout the story as some may be things you don't even care about, but also contemplate how hard life must be for Jack who is recovering from something that has nearly controlled his body for a long time, and also think of hope! Hope is good feeling!
Liz speaking...
My brother Patrick was here for 4 weeks helping with the remodeling process, he brought his son Jack with him about half way through. And when Pat left 3 weeks ago to take on another project, Jack stayed on here in Roswell, to finish the painting and little fix-its. I was a bit nervous at the prospect of having him in the house as I think I told you he has had a long run with drugs, alcohol and basic laziness that has left him with nothing at the age of 21. He spent the better part of the last year in and out of rehab. And when he was out, he couldn't hold a job or get out of bed to find one.
He doesn't have a license or car, no clothes to speak of, and short of a computer-- no possessions. Upon his arrival, we had a harsh reality check.. very simple, I told him, no drugs... none.. and if I find drugs, which I will, because I will be checking his stuff daily, or find he is sneaking off to meet people for drugs or asking them to come to the new house or this house for ANYTHING.. I'd call the police and have him arrested. Plain and simple. It was a tough message to deliver, and an even tougher one for him to accept.. in the sense of accepting the sad fact that I had to actually lay it out there. We both cried and he promised me he'd stay clean and to please give him a chance to prove he wants to change..
So.. the project began.. and it was daunting.. he had to prep all the walls, the trim and the baseboards in the entire house.. Randy and I stripped wall paper. He had to repair drywall, sand, spackle, .. it was amazing. An entire week of just getting walls ready to go. Together we went to the paint store and picked out colors. He was instrumental in dealing with a friend of mine that helped me pick a color scheme for the house. He spoke with the paint store and ordered the paint, the finish, he estimated what we needed and returned with me to pick up the 25 gallons of paint.
Needless to say, he's done remarkably well. During the first week he was so scared of the task ahead, nervous to be doing work sober, and not sure if he would have the fortitude to see it through. Together we took the project and mapped it out on paper including what would need to be done in order of the spaces ie: ceilings, trim, walls,.. broke it down and made a chart. He would use this daily to prepare himself for the next task ahead.
He wakes on his own around 7:30AM and comes upstairs for a breakfast of 3 eggs, toast, bacon two 16oz. glasses of milk and he gets his daily dose of vitamins. I am amazed at the calories he takes in and still remains a lanky 6'2''. I take him over to the house and either stay and work with him, or return at lunch time with his lunch and then we lay in the yard or by the pool and talk for 15 minutes or so until he breaks the silence with a, "gotta go back to work" and off he goes to his brushes and rollers until I pick him up at 6 or so. He works long, he works hard and I know he feels good about his work, and I am pleased with the results.
It's wonderful to have him sitting at the counter with me as the kids are doing homework and he talks with them about his day and theirs. He laughs with them and even comes down hard when necessary. It's good to have another male role model helping them see right from wrong. Randy and I are grateful for his presence in the kids' lives. We all eat dinner and we hang out as a family and then he usually finds his way to his space down stairs and works on the Wii Fit or watches the tube..
About a week ago Jack and I went to the FOX theater for a Broadway Show. My friend Elaine and I usually go on a monthly basis but she couldn't make it, so I took Jack. He and I had so much fun, we ate Sushi at a really cool place, and then watched the show, a really fun night! He was so happy, and so was I !
I just can't tell you what a treasure he is to me. He has been such a big part of this new house. He meets with contractors for me, discusses pricing and work that needs to be done. He listens to the advice of different contractors/companies and helps me make decisions. If it weren't for him, I would have to literally be at the new house all day every day just waiting on deliveries and quotes. It's crazy! He has designed a surround sound stereo system for our Family Room. He built in the tubes to hide all the cords and has searched the internet for the best most reasonably priced equipment. He just can't wait for Randy to "ok" the purchase.. He has learned with us, things need to be based on 1. needs.. 2. wants.. it's a tough thing for us to teach but he definitely gets it.
I'm including a picture from the night we went out, I took him shopping for some hip "skinny" jeans.... he is so cute! As of last week, he's applied to community college near his home in NC and has saved almost $2500.00 from working for us! He's gained some weight and put himself on a healthier path with Asthma Meds regularly and vitamins and regular meals and protein bars for snacks. I think he's heading toward a good goal. I just fear when he returns to his home, he'll see the same old friends and fall into the same old patterns, I pray that isn't the case, but only he can take these good habits and make them into his way of living EVERY day. We have had a lot of talks about where he's been, what he has been doing, mainly he talks, I just listen trying really hard not to show disappointment or shock during his stories. He's been through a lot. And on his own, he seems to have come to recognize why he feels as he does, acts as he did, or dismiss the things he had. Randy and I try to help him see the answers to the questions he asks, 'what should I do in school' 'where should I live' we try really hard to not give "advice" just listen, he has a LOT Of thoughts, sometimes I think he's still that little nephew of mine that I knew at the age of 8, trying to figure out where his place is in the world. Hopefully, he will find that place, and know it when he does. Randy has been a huge influence on Jack. They talk about cars, Jack's true passion.. his dream is that Turbo Porsche or Audi or BMW or something, I have no idea, but he can spot all of these cars miles away just by their headlights.. it's hilarious! Randy has him drive his car on short trips, just to see the smile on his face. It's priceless. Now don't get me wrong, he has his love of beer, and he is smoking, which bums me out, but I'm not his mom.. he's an adult, and he'll have to kick those things on his own~ we all have our vices~!
I know this was long and detailed and way more than you wanted or needed to know. Sometimes, it's just good to hear happy news! So be grateful for your kids, and who they are.. I've learned first hand how easy it is to stray from the path and how much work and love it takes to help them find it in the dark and stay on it once they do!
Proud Auntie Lizzie and Jack Patton
YAY JACK!
My Mom and Aunt Debbie also joined me. The ran/walked it. I was so proud of them! It was a great start to our Mother's Day!
Also for Mother's Day AND my Birthday, Mike has tackled a home project. Our back patio! Here is starting it for me.....he has made much more progress than the pictures shown, although it is not yet complete. The pavers have been laid, but the plan is to have two raised gardens on each side, plus a rock garden in the way back left for us to keep our trash cans, toys, etc...It looks great, Mike! Thank you!
The next weekend, I guess we laid low...Mike's brother and sister-in-law were in town and we all had a nice bbq at his brother's house. The whole family was together, and Alicia (my sister-in-law) announced she is expecting a third baby in the beginning of Dec :) I guess I won't be the one to have the fourth grandchild after all.... The bbq was great fun and it is always nice to see the cousins interact. I attempted a picture of the grandparents with their babies, although they never seem to want to look at me while I snap away. This is the best I could do....Despite their unenthusiasm (not a word I know) they love them dearly!
Anyways, Sunday we went to the Ashburn Fire House open house. It wasn't geared very much to the younger ones, but we will happened to ride a fire truck :) It was super cool and Lily really enjoyed herself!
You will most likely NEVER see Mike
All the girls were sporting their Derby hats. Liz here is actually wearing a REAL Derby hat (whatever that means) for me, just a simple sun hat will do :)
Lily also enjoyed baby Carter! She LOVES these little ones.....he is getting so big!
After the piggies come out.....
She's my climber for sure......
Slides make her happy...
